Gas-mask cow portrait in a golden field

MLKFRTS SUPPLY CO.

MILK HURTS. WE WEAPONIZE IT.

SHOP THE GOODS

Peculiar Pastures. Odd Goods. Officially Unofficial.

Tees, hoodies, hats and baby gear for people dairy has personally betrayed.

Issued to the herd. Worn at your own risk.

County of Peculiar Pastures · Rm. 100 · County HallForm PPC-1 · Dept. of Mild Concerns

PERUSE THE PASTURES

Four collections. All under observation.

Peculiar Pastures
Peculiar Pastures

Peculiar Pastures

Gas-mask cows and official notices.

SHOP NOW →

Dairy Air
A glass bell jar holding a cloud of gas over a dish of milk on a lab bench, its brass plate reading Pasteurized Flatulence, Certified Inert, under a 1947 Dairy Laboratory sign

Dairy Air

Grade A Gas. Certified emissions.

SHOP NOW →

Jr. MLKFRTS
A sippy cup and a child-size gas mask on a high-chair tray, issued as a set

Jr. MLKFRTS

Early-onset dairy defense.

SHOP NOW →

The Herd
The Herd

The Herd

We Watch Back.

SHOP NOW →

Exhibit Group FD · Rm. 100

Featured Goods



Official business (mostly).

6 exhibits on file

Free shipping over $75Secure checkoutIssued by MLKFRTS

We take ordinary dairy and turn it into mild chaos you can wear. No one asked us to do this. We did it anyway.

Elephant on stilt legs carrying a giant MLKFRTS Supply Co. 2% milk carton across the sea at sunset, a cow watching from the rocks

MLKFRTS SUPPLY CO

Purveyors of Peculiar Goods

Certified Mischief. Unregulated Emissions. Our Apologies.

Peculiar goods and smug cartons for anyone who has executed a silent tactical evacuation and prayed the room stayed polite.

Chaos. Comfort. Questionable choices.

Officially Unofficial Since Forever.

No Tolerance Required.

Shop Peculiar Goods
Supply Office · Featured ExhibitForm CAT-1 · Dept. of Mild Concerns

MLKFRTS Field Issue gas mask cow tee in Black, front view
FI · Exhibit A

Featured Exhibit · Standard Issue

“Field Issue” Gas Mask Cow Tee



$36

Size: S
Color: Black

View full details
Free shipping over $75Secure checkoutIssued by MLKFRTS
Man in a grey Department of Mild Concerns tee slumped on a kitchen floor beside a spilled milk jug

“Milk hurts me, but I still choose violence.”

If you’ve ever negotiated with God for a five-second head start,
this merch is for you.

PECULIAR PASTURES →
County of Peculiar Pastures · Dept. of Mild ConcernsForm DDS-1 · Incident Report

The Case Files · Form DDS-1

Share Your Dairy Disaster Story



Case No.DDS-PENDING

Every dairy incident deserves a witness.

Tell us what happened. We're listening.

Cow in a suit and red tie testifying at a congressional hearing microphone, photographers behind
Exhibit · Witness testimony. Entered into the record.

Form DDS-1 · Rev. Whenever

Statement of Incident

Your statement will be received in confidence.

Exhibit Group DA · Rm. 102Form DA-102 · Dept. of Mild Concerns

Grade A Gas USDA-style seal with a Holstein cow, from MLKFRTS

Lactose Doesn't Negotiate

When lactose strikes, subtlety dies.

Some of us chose the milk.

Some of us were issued the cup and told to drink it like good little citizens. Same ending either way:

A small personal disaster, and a shirt that admits it.

Merch for the adults who already know the ending and the kids who never got a vote.

Wear it.

Blame whoever handed you the glass.

SHOP DAIRY AIR
Glass of milk and an MLKFRTS card left on a diner counter as a blurred figure runs out the door

Officially Unofficial Since Forever

No quiet exits.

No redemption.

Just the record of what the dairy already did.

Peculiar Pastures. Odd Goods. Mild Concerns.

MLKFRTS Supply Co.

Department of Mild Concerns — Est. After the Fact

**All goods certified peculiar. No actual dairy was harmed in the making of this website. The cows remain under observation.

Residents · Field ReportsForm H-10 · Dept. of Mild Concerns

Social Sightings

Recent sightings from @gotmlkfrts.